top ten ways to survive a zombie apocalypse

here at usu we have a zombie apocalypse. its deadly out there. survival is slim. slim but not impossible.

10. run! they can climb weird things and pop out of nowhere. never stand still.


9. go inside. or if you can't get inside, touch the door knob. don't leave the door knob. i don't care if you are late for class, don't leave the door knob!
8. fling the sock at the zombie. they hate them. and freeze. for 15 minutes while you do number 10.


7. shoot the zombie. this typically works better with a nerf gun than a finger.



6. distract the zombie with tv. sneak attack behind them with a smelly used sock.


5. zombies lose a lot of human emotion. sometimes pretending a sock is mistletoe works as bait.


or the tricky put the arm around someone move.. but try to do these without letting them touch you. that's just gross. please don't hit on dead people.

or hug them... sick.
4. hide. don't be seen. and don't trust anyone! especially roommates..


3. tell a joke. zombies have a great sense of humor.


2. make the zombie your slave. i would say they give great massages but they're rather stiff.

and then they tend to get hungry. and if they can't eat you, they act like monkeys looking for leftovers in your hair.

if that happens, just shove a sock in their mouth.

1. become a zombie. if you can't escape it, embrace it!

good luck aggies. yes good luck to all us humans who are left...